Cock Shots

About 20 minutes ago, my pal Ralston IM'd me this webpage, which is supposedly what some blogger got when he left a disposable camera out on a public park bench. After taking a look at the photos, I call bullshit.

Why? Why? I'll tell you why.

Because after a total of about a day sitting out in a public place, there are pics of too-smiley lady, inanimate objects from off-kilter perspectives and psuedo-alternative-halfway-annoyed-but-really-loving-this girl (all pictured here):







But there isn't one (and by 'isn't one' I mean 'NOT EVEN FUCKING ONE') cock shot in the bunch! I mean really, folks. What's the world coming to? I don't know how, if anybody left a random disposable camera out for a whole day for random people to use, you wouldn't get even one guy who powers up the flash, pulls out his waistband and, well, pops a shot.

Apparently, cock shots weren't anybody else's first thought (worrisome), but once presented with the situation, most joined me in stunned disbelief. Or maybe they were just REALLY weirded out. Regardless, Mary thought the whole thing was pretty funny, as you can see from the following conversation.

Mary: ralston told me what you said about the roll of film -- it made me pee.
Nick: I sincerely do not know how there isn't a dick on that roll of film
Nick: In fact, I think he might have snipped out that frame when he posted the pics online.
Mary: i told ralston i might try that downtown and see what happens... i'm certain we would come up with cock shots...
Nick: I would hope so...if not that's strike 3 against Lawrence as far as I'm concerned
Nick: Strike 1: Goddamn hippies
Nick: Strike 2: Mutha-fuckin' hippies
Nick: Strike 3: lack of cock shots on a disposable camera
Mary: noted. i can't do anything about the hippies, but i might be able to get some cock shots on a disposable camera.
Nick: And even if you don't get cock shots, you'll at least get a few pictures of some son-of-a-bitch hippies
Nick: Just consider yourself lucky you don't have a smell-o-camera.
Mary: ooh -- lovely thought.

Lovely thought indeed, Mary. Lovely thought, indeed. But the question remains: Just what are the men of Lawrence packing? Whatever it is, I'm betting it's organic, locally grown and smells a little something like - you guessed it - hippies.